Bronson | Review By Matt R.
Posted by Greg Weinstein | Filed under Boxing, Culture, Film, Sports
Charles Bronson was in Death Wish. Charlie Bronson has a death wish.
More Bronson than Bronson, Missouri, so make with the jump. No dice? This ain’t over.
Bronson is about a prisoner who changes his name to Charles Bronson while bare-knuckle boxing hobos and rampaging animals. Based on a true story, Charlie B was sentenced to seven years in jail after robbing a post office. He’s served thirty-four years since then for beating everyone up.
So far I’ve heard this compared to a modern-day A Clockwork Orange. It isn’t really. Just because something is strange doesn’t make it a Kubrick. If you don’t like movies that skip around and play with reality, then you’re not going to like this one. Bronson narrates his own life story, in the manner of a hellish, one man show complete with dapper looking audience. This is all going on his head, as he has not been out of prison for longer than 69 days. He also dreams of being famous. The conversation he has with himself, as the lady barrister prosecuting his case is a highlight of these interludes.
After destroying several SWAT teams and causing hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage during a rooftop riot, he is declared insane and sent to a mental institution, where he is drugged and sedated. He tries to strangle a pedophile to get back to jail, because prison is like a hotel for him, while the insane asylum turns him into a drooling, mouth foaming zombie. Also, a man shits in his own hand and paints his face with it. Who’s hungry?
The guy playing Bronson deserves an award. World’s Greatest Dad, maybe? Or a Black Reel Award? This was a real physical performance. His mannerisms are like Johnny Depp’s drugged out Hunter S. Thompson on steroids. Or maybe a young Rory Calhoun. Either way, that mustache needs to be properly accoladed.
It turns out that our boy Bronson is a great artist. But instead of using his talents to secure an early release, he takes his art teacher hostage and tortures him while painting and sculpting an exhibit from Satan’s Museum of Modern Art. That’s pretty much his greatest talent. That, and stripping down naked to fight prison guards. There’s a lot of full frontal uncircumcised nudity, so bring your camera phones.
If you have a movie theater near you that plays independent films and you can follow a non-linear story line or you like to see CO’s get laced up or just enjoy male dangling parts, then this is a perfect movie for you. Go see it. I’ll give this 7 out of 10 combs because you guys are funny bastards.
