Eminem – Relapse | Full Review by Matt R.
Posted by Greg Weinstein | Filed under Music, News
With the the release of the highly anticipated Relapse only one week away, our very own Matt R. reviews the album in its entirety. Breaking down Eminem’s 5th Lp, Matt covers every track letting you know exactly what to expect from Detroit’s finest. Check out the fresh review on the flip side.
Guess Who’s Back. Back Again…
Eminem’s newest album Relapse is finally in sight. I heard it. Don’t hate.
1- Dr. West- Opening skit, and no it’s not that Mr. West unfortunately. Marshall Mathers converses with the Doctor Kevorkian of rehab. No wonder he’s relapsing
2- 3 A.M.- Heeeeee’s back. Drugs. Black outs. Murder. Treating your body like an amusement park to Hannah Montana. Slim Shady returns on a hard horror-core beat. How many rappers can shout out Buffalo Bill and flow like this? This track is the Stan for serial killers.
3-My Mom- Don’t you go talking about my moms like that Em. Oh wait, it’s your mom that loves valium and lots of drugs. Then please proceed with a five minute epic fairy tale about growing up eating valium on your pancakes. And yeah, I was kind of sick of hearing about how crazy Debbie is. But man, did she do a number on this guy. Gotta love the horns on this track., they bounce like your boy when the check shows up.
4- Insane- Perfect song title. “I was born with a dick in my brain/yeah fucked in the head.” The content of this song as well as the flow are both insane. Who knows what he’s talking about? I mean aside from the gay rape part. But it’s clear that nobody puts words together in a verse like Em. The song sounds like the last 30 seconds of Lupe’s flow on Hip Hop Saved My Life. Anyone else see Pubic Hair on Chelsea? Sounds like a classic.
5- Bagpipes from Baghdad- Dopest beat on the album. Dre’s drums with the pride of Scotland blaring. Seriously, you think he ever proposed a beat to Eazy E that revolved around hard bagpipes? Yo Slim, didn’t you break up with Mariah five or six years ago? Still calling her out on tracks, huh? Dissing Nick Cannon on wax? I mean he did do mad freestyle jokes at the end of Wild n Out, but I don’t think you have to worry about the kid. Aren’t there some actual rappers from the last five years that deserve to get called out by you?
6-Hello- My name is…Shaaady. More drugs, more chicks, more assault. So the content doesn’t vary much. But I’m starting to get the feeling this guy could rap the phone book and find a way to rhyme Smith with Ramathorn.
7- Tonya (skit)- I hate when my Onstar doesn’t work. Oh well, time to kidnap a bitch.
8- Same Song & Dance- Stranded? Need help? Come with me. You can trust me. What this? No, it’s not a rag dipped in ether—it’s a scarf. They’re very fashionable now. Oh hi, Lindsay Lohan. You were in rehab? Me too! I love you so much, I want you to die. What, Britney Spears? Oh yeah, all those times I’ve made fun of you, it’s because I’ve secretly been in love with you and I want to wear your skin as a suit.. Why am I in high heels? Hey, look over there. ((Thrown in burlap sack and dragged to car)).—At this point I’m just glad Eminem hasn’t done a song as a talking dog puppet. And there’s going to be a murder in 2009, that blames this album in court. And it’s dope enough so far, that you should be okay with that.
9-We Made You- This is the “pop” track that all Shady albums sport. It sticks out like an Ernest movie at the Oscars. Lots of famous people get made fun of. Blah, blah, blah. If this track is what you’re here for…get off my lawn. Sheesh, kids today.
10- Medicine Ball- Like word play? Here you go. This is like a sick version of the name game. If you were wondering whether or not Eminem would pee on Rihanna, you’ll soon know the answer. Did he just say Christopher Reeves? Oh boy. Well, the award for best “T-Paining” of your voice goes to Marshall Mathers for using it to do a verse as the late Superman star. Look man, I know you’ve been away for years, but could we have a reference that post dates the Bush-Kerry election? Appreciate it.
11-Paul (skit)- Some old familiar territory. Paul doesn’t like the Christopher Reeves references either.
12- Stay Wide Awake- A world so dark. A world so cold. A little vulnerability here? Nope. More sexual assault. I’m starting to see a pattern here. There’s not another artist that could pull this off. I’ve realized that I don’t even care what he’s talking about anymore. He could rap the dialogue to the Star Wars prequels and make George Lucas sound like David Mamet. I like the little haunting chirp on this. Reminds me Jigga’s Soon You’ll Understand.
13- Old Times Sake- Dre? Excuse me for a minute. I’m weeping into my Chucks. The Dr. and Eminem on a hell of a track. July through August 2009, put this on in the Jeep, roll down the windows, turn up volume, and bounce. Who would win in a fight, Dre or God? Trick question. Dre is God. And I’ll actually believe in him if he gives me two Em albums and Detox in 2009. One love.
14- Must Be the Ganja- I love love songs. But what I love more are love songs about weed. And serial killers. It’s not quite “Hey, hey, hey, hey smoke weed every day,” but I get the feeling a lot of heads will be calling Sampson to this joint. About two minutes in, Slim puts on a verbal killing spree. Isn’t murder bad? Not if you’re killing it on wax. Weezy, I know you and Em have admiration for each other. And you had a nice run as “best rapper alive.” But this dude is back and he is bringing it hard.
15- Mr. Mathers- Did Em really overdose? Has this whole album been his drug riddled coma dream? Wait… I know, he’s been a ghost the whole time and that’s why nobody could see him except for the little kid.
16- Déjà vu- I made it this far and just realized he’s done most of the album without using that weird voice from Encore. Showing some demons on this track. I guess drug habits aren’t as fun as junkies make them seem. Too bad. I’m still trying heroin when I’m 80 and have nothing to lose.
17- Beautiful- Is that Queen with Paul Rodgers? He’s so good at taking an existing song and flipping it to fit his tracks. Hot track. A little slower, very gloomy, and brutally honest. Also, possibly stolen from Christina Aguilera.
18- Crack A Bottle- If Eminem has any advice to give it would be this: Don’t act like a sloppy model. This has been out for a while. You all know it. 50 and Dre. Fromunda cheese. It’s all here. And the beat is still so hot, Little Chris would jump out of his wheelchair and drop the pacifier.
19- Steve Berman (skit)- No, Steve didn’t die after getting shot last time around. I think Em just said something about two CDs? Praise be…
20- Underground / Ken Kaniff- Relapse has its own “I Just Don’t Give a Fuck.” Great way to end the album. Em rides the beat up and down like he’s stuck on the Tower of Terror. How many flows does he have? Could be the hottest verse on the whole album. And Ken Kaniff is totally worth the wait.
This album is so good, you’ll smack your mama. But I do wish his material was more current. It sounds like this could have come out between The Marshall Mathers LP and the Eminem show. That’s a great thing as far as his flow is concerned, but the references are dated. I’m surprised not to hear a fuck you Ja, somewhere. Thankfully, none of the goofiness from Encore makes the cut. But for heads that aren’t huge Em fans already, how much more are you going to want to listen to him go on about the same topics? Luckily, if you can appreciate what he can do with words and syllables, you should still enjoy this. Five years is a long time to disappear from the game, but Em’s Relapse here isn’t drug induced. He’s bringing it back to his prime, when nobody could outspit the white boy from Detroit. I give Relapse 4 out of 5 Vicodins.
